Maloolaboo
22nd June 2006, 15:18
(Ah well, just because we are in the bronze age here doesnt mean we cant post exceedingly long posts. Would be interested in replies from all colours of forumites.)
There are and have been many comments and accusations made about the current batch of housemates and for what its worth here is my own current take on them.
Pete: It is often claimed that he is acting and that acting becomes exaggerated when he visits the diary room. He swears, tics and uses profanity in abundance when the cameras are around and somewhat less on other occasions. The answer to this lies in the very nature of Tourettes that comes markedly to the fore when the subject is under stress or in the “public” eye. Visits to the diary room or confrontations in group situations do put Pete under considerable stress and as such, he does display that discomfort involuntarily and at a more pronounced level. This is not “acting” but merely the product of Tourettes. Pete is an otherwise kind hearted soul who abstains from deviousness when dealing with other people and although sometimes appearing boring, he is a wysiwyg (what you see is what you get) character.
Glyn: Some observers have been noticing recently the dark side of the boy from the Welsh hills. Anyone who spends the vast majority of their time with woolly animals on a cold and frosty hill has but one thing on his mind and that is the basic motor functions of eating, sleeping, screwing and farting. Glyn is no different to many uncultured youths of today and his occasional trips to the far extremes of the globe (Birmingham) has taught him that mutton is not as appetising as Oysters and that there may actually be something in life more exciting than a shag on a cold ass hilltop. He can be really obtuse at times and whilst his intelligence level (10 grade A’s) is probably not in question, his lack of experience in the world before entering the house is beginning to expose a not so nice boy. His denial of beergate (where he shared Nikki’s beer with Mikey) left some viewers wondering about his truthfulness and his propensity for bitching is not seen a very positive male trait. Displays of sullenness when his authority is challenged (Richard) or when he feels embarrassed (Aisleyne) makes him lose some of the babyish innocence in the eyes of his supporters. Some feel they have been cheated and are now tuning their backs on the Brokeback mountain kid.
Aisleyne: Her rise to fame is based mostly on the display of support she afforded Suzie following the Watergate incident and many observers who beforehand never really noticed her, started to offer her support. She had been increasing her share of the vote as she appeared not to be one of the bitches and stood up for what is good and what is right. Saint Aisleyne is one of the many labels afforded her. However the persistent claim that her own style of bitching and manipulating housemates opinion can be excused by relabelling it as a series of “observations” (ala Richard), does not wholly disguise the fact that her backstabbing and not-so-nice comments are every bit as bad as Graces. Aisleyne’s somewhat dark past highlighted in the press explains why she seeks to deny her white middle class upbringing and skew towards a darker side. Many black people are offended by Aisleyne’s attempts to emulate the West Indian patter and feel offended that a trashy white woman acting in this way is just as bad as a child slanting its eyes and pretending to be Chinese. Couple this slur on the ethnic community with Aisleyne’s dress sense and her blatent attempts to woo the camera with a total exposure of her nether regions and the slur becomes adirect affront on the ethnic minority. I am sure Aisleyne will be unaware of the effect of her attempts at street cred, but the net effect is that the public are increasingly believing the press stories of prostitution, drug dealing and gun running and are gradually turning their backs on the plastic ghetto girl.
Nikki: Ahh, the much-aligned girl with the attention seeking disorder just as Nadia in her year. Nikki’s past, present and future are placed openly before her audience and more and more people every day are saying “there but for the grace of God go I”. Sometimes irritating, sometimes dramatic, sometimes hilarious Nikki has offered the best TV moments so far in BB7 and it would be a serious mistake to underestimate the support this fragile girl has been gaining. Often accused of acting, this is the very last thing that Nikki does, she is herself, completely and wholly eccentric. Past disorders of mental illness, anorexia and hiatus hernia have moulded Nikki’s persona and habits into her own “plan for existence”, self serving and self preserving being the modus operandi. Nikki is not a natural beauty like Imogen and has had to work hard to develop her personality to compensate and as with any woman the strain can take its toll. Out of all the women in the house Nikki is the most honest and the most truthful, often facing her critics and detractors and tackling them head on. She has displayed her own sense of values and morals and yet is openly willing to forgive the weaknesses in others (Lisa). She may rant and she may rave at the cameras and inadvertently produce some dramatic TV footage, but her heart is in exactly the right place.
Richard: The man of reason. Or are we all being fooled by this duplicious character who can dress evil as good, who can appear rational and yet derive pleasure from others misfortune, who is the first to offer a consoling shoulder but absently laugh at the afflicted’s unhappiness. Richard has been described as an emotional vampire, one who sucks the life force from the victims of his own diatribe. Imogen has such an intense dislike of Richard that is born of intuition that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, an actor who has perfected the art of being a pretend friend and who has more deviousness per square inch than he should have hairs on his head. It is one of the greatest sins in Big Brother to appear as two different people, on the one hand being the upstanding voice of reason and on the other a backstabbing queen. His popularity is declining by the day and although his strongest support may well lie in the gay community, even that support is reducing to the same levels as the number of gay Canadian Mounties who are currently resident in the UK.
Lisa: It takes all sorts of people to make for an interesting world, and that variation is often mirrored in the BB house. Some are born of nobility, some are born middle class and some have poverty and squalor thrust upon them and are dragged up unaware of the mere existence of caviar. Lisa is a product of her environment and for that she is being judged and condemned by the majority of middle class voters this Friday. I have no doubt she will be the person evicted this week but does she really deserve the title of the “worst housemate in history”? Yes, she has a temper, yes, she shouts, yes she is uncouth but is she also honest like Nikki, is she thoughtful and caring like Pete, is she selfish like Glyn? My only reason for not being upset at her removal is that memories of Emma sprung to mind when she upended the bike. Lisa is probably one of the few people who will affirm, when asked by Davina, that she has learnt a lot from her experience in the big brother house.
Suzi: Perhaps describing Suzi as “Lea with a millionaire husband and a Pygmalion makeover” is a little bit unfair. Her rich husbands generosity in paying a reputed £4000 for a Golden Ticket for his beloved wife and mother of his children, may however give us a clue to this woman’s obsession with fame and fortune. Suzi’s claim to fame as an ex stripper sits awkwardly with her current role as the wife of a respected businessman and it seems that as with Michelangelo’s brush she is attempting to repaint her past by reinventing her most famous moments. Mrs Robinson is how Glyn describes Suzi and to a certain degree she has succeeded in misdirecting Glyn’s view from a sleazier past more aligned to that of Lea, to one of a much more unblemished one. However good that makes Suzi feel within herself, she has inadvertently done more harm than good by exposing her past for ALL the world to see. Suzi comes across as a rational, reasonable, ladylike human being and as one who would not be so vindictive as to nominate anyone who ever stood less than a foot away from Grace (like Mikey or Lisa). Her diary room performances are muted and sticcatto and it is very difficult to weigh up a character hell bent on concealing her true self. So unless the real Suzi stands up soon, she may well find herself retired to never never land where MJ’s children will daily douse her in water until all the paint washes off. Suzi announces to the group that she is going to go to the toilet and in case no one heard her she says it again and again. It is almost as if she believes that other housemates should be in awe of her bowel movements. Suzi likes salmon, bran and asparagus and despises the taste, smell and greasiness of lamb, so the sheep loving Glyn may well look to his laurels and not even mention his special friends to her.
Mikey: Much like Glyn and Lisa, subtitles are an essential part of his viewing. Mikey didn’t really do anything wrong attaching himself to the Joan Collins invention, Grace, and the association has done him little harm simply because he was neither seen, heard or understood until the departure of the “bitch”. Mikey is not essentially a bad person and has very few negative flaws in his personality. However in his very first speaking part he made a faux pas in attacking the Princess and in his naivety misunderstood the Hiatus Hernia rationale behind Nikki’s concealment of beer. It’s a lesson to us all that when we set out to make an example of someone or some principle, we really do need to be very careful that we are totally and fully in the right. This error of judgement on Mikeys part has cost him dearly and his poll ratings have declined from the almost zero level to the completely invisible. His saving grace (no pun intended) has been his knack of remaining part of the scenery but his escaping nomination has been compromised and hapless Mikey may well slip out of the programme next week returning to the relative obscurity of forgotten BB contestant land.
Imogen: Miss Wales. Miss Wales. Miss Wales. Is that it?
Imogen is 23 years of age and has difficulty despite her psychology degree in communicating with people outside her peer group. Her sense of judgement of the other contestants is pretty sound, what little we have heard of it. Her sole speaking part in the diary room held promise that she is at last coming out of her shell when in that beautiful lilting diatribe she lambasted several of the other housemates. Noting that she is now making efforts to befriend Suzi and Aisleyne despite her misgivings about these two housemates, shows further promise that she is at last setting aside her correct intuitive feelings and concentrating on self preservation. The long hoped for betrayal of Grace via a closer liaison with Mikey is, unfortunately for C4, merely smoke and mirrors and when the need to abandon her plaything arises, she will be up to the task. Fortunately for Imogen, her popularity in the polls has remained constant whilst others like Mikeys, Richards and Lisas have all declined to such an extent that she may well survive even though nominated frequently. (I still think she is wonderful eye candy, but alas a sweet beyond my tongues reach).
Lea: The mother who has sold her soul, her house and her dignity in an attempt to recapture a rapidly fading youth. It is a good thing that there are Lea’s in the world, whose caricatures are bigger than life, women who can evoke erections in 18 yo’s and cause involuntary ejaculations at a mere touch. How else will our children learn what not to do in life. Perhaps the most insecure, unstable and foulmouthed (yes, even worse than Lisa) housemate ever to step into the house, Leas past has been plastered on every bulletin board in the UK and beyond. It is said that her porn video has outsold that of Pamela Andersons, and that’s just to the pupils of her sons school!. This woman is not all bad, she (incestuously) cares for both Pete and has a soft spot for Glyn (his own spot is much harder), and she mothers Nikki whilst snatching a lip-lip kiss as proof of her caring nature. Driven by c*ck, drink and at least one other motivation, Lea exposes herself (in the Diary room) to the public gaze and denudes herself from all but the basic instincts without the much hoped for leg crossing. She tantalises and teases using just two fingers to cover massive 55” mammaries whilst hoping that the night cameras will magically wipe 15 years off her age. Now that all us blokes have had the fully monty, seen the film and cum to a satisfying conclusion, we all seem to agree that Lea can go home anytime. (Preferably during the dark because there is no bloody way she is staying the night!)
There are and have been many comments and accusations made about the current batch of housemates and for what its worth here is my own current take on them.
Pete: It is often claimed that he is acting and that acting becomes exaggerated when he visits the diary room. He swears, tics and uses profanity in abundance when the cameras are around and somewhat less on other occasions. The answer to this lies in the very nature of Tourettes that comes markedly to the fore when the subject is under stress or in the “public” eye. Visits to the diary room or confrontations in group situations do put Pete under considerable stress and as such, he does display that discomfort involuntarily and at a more pronounced level. This is not “acting” but merely the product of Tourettes. Pete is an otherwise kind hearted soul who abstains from deviousness when dealing with other people and although sometimes appearing boring, he is a wysiwyg (what you see is what you get) character.
Glyn: Some observers have been noticing recently the dark side of the boy from the Welsh hills. Anyone who spends the vast majority of their time with woolly animals on a cold and frosty hill has but one thing on his mind and that is the basic motor functions of eating, sleeping, screwing and farting. Glyn is no different to many uncultured youths of today and his occasional trips to the far extremes of the globe (Birmingham) has taught him that mutton is not as appetising as Oysters and that there may actually be something in life more exciting than a shag on a cold ass hilltop. He can be really obtuse at times and whilst his intelligence level (10 grade A’s) is probably not in question, his lack of experience in the world before entering the house is beginning to expose a not so nice boy. His denial of beergate (where he shared Nikki’s beer with Mikey) left some viewers wondering about his truthfulness and his propensity for bitching is not seen a very positive male trait. Displays of sullenness when his authority is challenged (Richard) or when he feels embarrassed (Aisleyne) makes him lose some of the babyish innocence in the eyes of his supporters. Some feel they have been cheated and are now tuning their backs on the Brokeback mountain kid.
Aisleyne: Her rise to fame is based mostly on the display of support she afforded Suzie following the Watergate incident and many observers who beforehand never really noticed her, started to offer her support. She had been increasing her share of the vote as she appeared not to be one of the bitches and stood up for what is good and what is right. Saint Aisleyne is one of the many labels afforded her. However the persistent claim that her own style of bitching and manipulating housemates opinion can be excused by relabelling it as a series of “observations” (ala Richard), does not wholly disguise the fact that her backstabbing and not-so-nice comments are every bit as bad as Graces. Aisleyne’s somewhat dark past highlighted in the press explains why she seeks to deny her white middle class upbringing and skew towards a darker side. Many black people are offended by Aisleyne’s attempts to emulate the West Indian patter and feel offended that a trashy white woman acting in this way is just as bad as a child slanting its eyes and pretending to be Chinese. Couple this slur on the ethnic community with Aisleyne’s dress sense and her blatent attempts to woo the camera with a total exposure of her nether regions and the slur becomes adirect affront on the ethnic minority. I am sure Aisleyne will be unaware of the effect of her attempts at street cred, but the net effect is that the public are increasingly believing the press stories of prostitution, drug dealing and gun running and are gradually turning their backs on the plastic ghetto girl.
Nikki: Ahh, the much-aligned girl with the attention seeking disorder just as Nadia in her year. Nikki’s past, present and future are placed openly before her audience and more and more people every day are saying “there but for the grace of God go I”. Sometimes irritating, sometimes dramatic, sometimes hilarious Nikki has offered the best TV moments so far in BB7 and it would be a serious mistake to underestimate the support this fragile girl has been gaining. Often accused of acting, this is the very last thing that Nikki does, she is herself, completely and wholly eccentric. Past disorders of mental illness, anorexia and hiatus hernia have moulded Nikki’s persona and habits into her own “plan for existence”, self serving and self preserving being the modus operandi. Nikki is not a natural beauty like Imogen and has had to work hard to develop her personality to compensate and as with any woman the strain can take its toll. Out of all the women in the house Nikki is the most honest and the most truthful, often facing her critics and detractors and tackling them head on. She has displayed her own sense of values and morals and yet is openly willing to forgive the weaknesses in others (Lisa). She may rant and she may rave at the cameras and inadvertently produce some dramatic TV footage, but her heart is in exactly the right place.
Richard: The man of reason. Or are we all being fooled by this duplicious character who can dress evil as good, who can appear rational and yet derive pleasure from others misfortune, who is the first to offer a consoling shoulder but absently laugh at the afflicted’s unhappiness. Richard has been described as an emotional vampire, one who sucks the life force from the victims of his own diatribe. Imogen has such an intense dislike of Richard that is born of intuition that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, an actor who has perfected the art of being a pretend friend and who has more deviousness per square inch than he should have hairs on his head. It is one of the greatest sins in Big Brother to appear as two different people, on the one hand being the upstanding voice of reason and on the other a backstabbing queen. His popularity is declining by the day and although his strongest support may well lie in the gay community, even that support is reducing to the same levels as the number of gay Canadian Mounties who are currently resident in the UK.
Lisa: It takes all sorts of people to make for an interesting world, and that variation is often mirrored in the BB house. Some are born of nobility, some are born middle class and some have poverty and squalor thrust upon them and are dragged up unaware of the mere existence of caviar. Lisa is a product of her environment and for that she is being judged and condemned by the majority of middle class voters this Friday. I have no doubt she will be the person evicted this week but does she really deserve the title of the “worst housemate in history”? Yes, she has a temper, yes, she shouts, yes she is uncouth but is she also honest like Nikki, is she thoughtful and caring like Pete, is she selfish like Glyn? My only reason for not being upset at her removal is that memories of Emma sprung to mind when she upended the bike. Lisa is probably one of the few people who will affirm, when asked by Davina, that she has learnt a lot from her experience in the big brother house.
Suzi: Perhaps describing Suzi as “Lea with a millionaire husband and a Pygmalion makeover” is a little bit unfair. Her rich husbands generosity in paying a reputed £4000 for a Golden Ticket for his beloved wife and mother of his children, may however give us a clue to this woman’s obsession with fame and fortune. Suzi’s claim to fame as an ex stripper sits awkwardly with her current role as the wife of a respected businessman and it seems that as with Michelangelo’s brush she is attempting to repaint her past by reinventing her most famous moments. Mrs Robinson is how Glyn describes Suzi and to a certain degree she has succeeded in misdirecting Glyn’s view from a sleazier past more aligned to that of Lea, to one of a much more unblemished one. However good that makes Suzi feel within herself, she has inadvertently done more harm than good by exposing her past for ALL the world to see. Suzi comes across as a rational, reasonable, ladylike human being and as one who would not be so vindictive as to nominate anyone who ever stood less than a foot away from Grace (like Mikey or Lisa). Her diary room performances are muted and sticcatto and it is very difficult to weigh up a character hell bent on concealing her true self. So unless the real Suzi stands up soon, she may well find herself retired to never never land where MJ’s children will daily douse her in water until all the paint washes off. Suzi announces to the group that she is going to go to the toilet and in case no one heard her she says it again and again. It is almost as if she believes that other housemates should be in awe of her bowel movements. Suzi likes salmon, bran and asparagus and despises the taste, smell and greasiness of lamb, so the sheep loving Glyn may well look to his laurels and not even mention his special friends to her.
Mikey: Much like Glyn and Lisa, subtitles are an essential part of his viewing. Mikey didn’t really do anything wrong attaching himself to the Joan Collins invention, Grace, and the association has done him little harm simply because he was neither seen, heard or understood until the departure of the “bitch”. Mikey is not essentially a bad person and has very few negative flaws in his personality. However in his very first speaking part he made a faux pas in attacking the Princess and in his naivety misunderstood the Hiatus Hernia rationale behind Nikki’s concealment of beer. It’s a lesson to us all that when we set out to make an example of someone or some principle, we really do need to be very careful that we are totally and fully in the right. This error of judgement on Mikeys part has cost him dearly and his poll ratings have declined from the almost zero level to the completely invisible. His saving grace (no pun intended) has been his knack of remaining part of the scenery but his escaping nomination has been compromised and hapless Mikey may well slip out of the programme next week returning to the relative obscurity of forgotten BB contestant land.
Imogen: Miss Wales. Miss Wales. Miss Wales. Is that it?
Imogen is 23 years of age and has difficulty despite her psychology degree in communicating with people outside her peer group. Her sense of judgement of the other contestants is pretty sound, what little we have heard of it. Her sole speaking part in the diary room held promise that she is at last coming out of her shell when in that beautiful lilting diatribe she lambasted several of the other housemates. Noting that she is now making efforts to befriend Suzi and Aisleyne despite her misgivings about these two housemates, shows further promise that she is at last setting aside her correct intuitive feelings and concentrating on self preservation. The long hoped for betrayal of Grace via a closer liaison with Mikey is, unfortunately for C4, merely smoke and mirrors and when the need to abandon her plaything arises, she will be up to the task. Fortunately for Imogen, her popularity in the polls has remained constant whilst others like Mikeys, Richards and Lisas have all declined to such an extent that she may well survive even though nominated frequently. (I still think she is wonderful eye candy, but alas a sweet beyond my tongues reach).
Lea: The mother who has sold her soul, her house and her dignity in an attempt to recapture a rapidly fading youth. It is a good thing that there are Lea’s in the world, whose caricatures are bigger than life, women who can evoke erections in 18 yo’s and cause involuntary ejaculations at a mere touch. How else will our children learn what not to do in life. Perhaps the most insecure, unstable and foulmouthed (yes, even worse than Lisa) housemate ever to step into the house, Leas past has been plastered on every bulletin board in the UK and beyond. It is said that her porn video has outsold that of Pamela Andersons, and that’s just to the pupils of her sons school!. This woman is not all bad, she (incestuously) cares for both Pete and has a soft spot for Glyn (his own spot is much harder), and she mothers Nikki whilst snatching a lip-lip kiss as proof of her caring nature. Driven by c*ck, drink and at least one other motivation, Lea exposes herself (in the Diary room) to the public gaze and denudes herself from all but the basic instincts without the much hoped for leg crossing. She tantalises and teases using just two fingers to cover massive 55” mammaries whilst hoping that the night cameras will magically wipe 15 years off her age. Now that all us blokes have had the fully monty, seen the film and cum to a satisfying conclusion, we all seem to agree that Lea can go home anytime. (Preferably during the dark because there is no bloody way she is staying the night!)